Thursday, October 27, 2011


Lately I’ve been struggling with the abundant number of Christian couples my age who are avoiding marriage and simply sharing a living space. My feeling isn’t a self-righteous “looking down” upon, rather its a burdensome, painful, frustrating, worrisome feeling in my gut. In an attempt NOT to sound condescending to my fellow generation, and those above and below our generation, I simply want to share some truths in love as to the dangers of “cohabitation.” What follows are five reasons why living together outside of marriage is simply not a wise choice for a self-pronounced follower of Jesus. This post deals with the first of those reasons.

Reason Number One:

Truthfully, this should be the primary reason two Christians not live together. Yet in our current climate of “Anything goes, grace is sufficient,” this reason usually is balked at and ignored. Nevertheless, here it goes: Living together is disobedience to the Lord. Whew, glad that’s out of the bag. Seriously, though, living together outside of marriage is opposed to God’s plan for life and marriage. Now, God gave marriage for two primary reasons: First, it is a picture of His covenantal relationship with His followers, those whom He loves. The church is called “The Bride of Christ,” for a reason. Christian marriage is to model for the world the unselfish, undeniably better alternative that is a relationship with an almighty, all-loving, and just God and creator. Second, God gave marriage to us as a gift of love. Marriage is intended to cause within us a sense of completeness of companionship. Realizing that for a very small minority celibacy is satisfying, that leaves vast droves of humans with an innate desire to “fill the void” of human loneliness. Thus, we have a chance at truly blissful, deeply satisfying matrimony. Also, it is an opportunity for holiness. Note that I did not say perfection, but holiness. Holiness is God’s desire for his followers. Marriage serves as an opportunity for two people, in love with God and each other, to encourage and equip each other for living in Christ.

All of that being said--or written I suppose--the best reason why we shouldn’t settle for living together is that it forces us to look at God and say, quite plainly I might add, “Your not enough for me. Your ways don't satisfy me. I need to satisfy “me” elsewhere.” No one intentionally says that to God, though it is a statement made by our actions.

Give it some thought, reason with me on this.

I’ll share the next reason in the near days ahead. May the Lord guide us, who know Him and love Him, to a place where we can teach, rebuke, correct, train in godliness, openly without either condemnation or toleration.

Glory to the King of kings!

Bryan Laramore

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